Sunriver Oregon Marathon -Running for the Ta-ta’s- A race with a cause

The Sunriver, Oregon Marathon was organized to help benefit those with breast cancer. When I got to the resort and made my way to the packet pick-up room I had a surprise waiting for me…rubber breasts on the table. Yes, you read correctly about half a dozen full size rubber breasts. My Son David had come with me on this adventure just like he did in Oklahoma and the Bear River marathons. We were both invited to squeeze each one and see if we could find the lump(s) in them. As if this wasn’t awkward enough on the same table were pink t-shirts for sale that read…’Running for the Ta-ta’s’ on the front of them. God bless people who dedicate their time, money and effort to such a wonderful cause but I’m not very comfortable squeezing rubber breasts with my 27 year old son and wearing pink shirts with the word “Ta-ta’s” on them. We left the packet pick-up area and went down to an area called the Village to look for a restaurant for dinner. The Sunriver Resort is a beautiful country club style resort located in the Oregon forests. There are cabin homes surrounding the resort itself and all kinds of fun activities including a golf course, tennis courts, bike and boat rental shops, restaurants, gift shops, gyms and spas. We found an incredible Italian place and as always I filled myself with pasta and bread. Then, being the frugal man that I am we settled down in the back of my Saturn Vue for the night. I am trying to do all these marathons on a budget so I just can’t see ponying up the dough for a lavish room when sleeping in the back of my SUV works just fine. For the record, when I awoke the next morning and stumbled over to the porta-potty in the parking lot I noticed several other runners who had slept in the back of their cars as well so I’m not the only cheap skate running marathons. The race started at 7:00am and it was a very chilly 48 degrees. I love the cooler weather and do much better in the low temperatures. I always freak the poor volunteers out when I hand them my goody bag with a prosthetic leg sticking out of the top. I explained to them that my artificial leg costs more then $10,000 bucks and if they lose it I’d be ‘foot loose and fancy free’. When I make jokes about being an amputee most people aren’t sure if it’s OK to laugh or if they should just give me a blank stare. After I let them know ‘it’s a joke people’ then I usually get a round of laughter from everyone near. This course was beautiful and very well marked. There were plenty of volunteers at every turn to keep you on track so you never got lost. There were ample porta-potty’s and water stations every couple of miles. What can I say, the first half of the marathon was very uneventful because the race was so well planned out all I had to worry about was just running. Towards the second half of the race I began to run next to a fellow named Phillip. He had a thick accent that I thought might be from England. He corrected me by saying he was from South Africa. I told him I had visited England once and he asked me if I had gotten the ‘spotted dick’ while I was there. I am a bit naive I suppose so when someone says something to me that makes me uncomfortable or confuses me I’ll try to make a joke to lighten things up a bit. So after a few awkward seconds of silence I said, “I thought I may have had it once but I got a penicillin shot and it cleared it right up.” Phillip was snacking on some energy bites at the time and began laughing so hard he started choking on them. He had to stop running and bend over so me and another runner could smack him on the back and dislodge the bite. After getting his breath back and running again he explained to me that spotted dick was a type of pudding with dried fruit in it. Apparently it is a favorite desert dish in England. Who knew? He also asked me not to make any more jokes until the marathon was over. I had altered my diet and exercise for this race which really paid off. By mile 25 I was still going strong and felt great. At the finishers circle there was watermelon and grapes waiting for us in great big bowls! They had massage tables and snacks plus plenty of water waiting. I saw my buddy Philip getting a massage and went over to talk to him. The Masseuse had him flat on his stomach and was twisting his leg in some position that resembled a midieval torture. I asked him if he needed my help to get the guy off of him. Once again he began to laugh out loud only this time he wasn’t snacking so he didn’t choke thank goodness. The Masseuse and everyone else around us started laughing too. They were a great audience. All and all this was my favorite marathon and the one to beat.

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